


cas knows dean did the right thing

by madamimpossible



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ignoring Canon, M/M, THEY DESERVE IT, just want these two to have a good life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:48:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28665744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamimpossible/pseuds/madamimpossible
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 4





	cas knows dean did the right thing

dean and cas has retired and live in bobby’s old house - it wasn’t completely burned to the ground and they were able to piece back together most of is - they spend their first year there just on rebuilding - cas is a quick learner when it comes to all those power tools and dean might have stopped what he was doing more than once just to stare at cas’s shoulders or arms as he was putting up drywall - there aren’t anymore weird drafts tearing through the kitchen in the winter anymore ever since dean installed a new back door - and dean and cas both have like semi normal jobs - dean does the labor as cas runs the desk outta the junkyard - sam and eileen send him and cas hunters’ cars all the time and so more often than they’d like they have house guests - but at some point dean and cas renovated a large shed into a guest house / safe house in treeline of the junkyard not a lot of amenities but four walls a roof and sink they have pretty much all one would truly need - if they’re guest they can come up to house to get food or just for a chat whatever else they need - they don’t have any animals but there are a couple deer that will come right up to cas at dusk or dawn and will practically eat out of his hand as dean watches splitting his view between cas’s profile in the moonlight and looking out over the grassy field they’re cleared on the east side of the property so cas could grow whatever he wanted in and dean built a bench for them that sits in the middle of it looking towards the sunrise - they’ve had many talks there reserving it as a place for honesty and vulnerability not that dean would begin to put words to what kind of bond connection promise commitment they have to each other - the guilt they feel at failing each other or others or the guilt at stopping at trying to live a life for themselves for once - aren’t they lucky that the most selfish things either them has ever done was love the other - and now they have each other but that doesn’t mean they’ve lost themselves - they are now more themselves that they ever were before they knew each other - so they talk about their love and what it means to them - a long form confession spanning to the present - always reminding the other how this is exactly what they want love need - even when the going gets tough their fights are good - neither of them is really wrong when it comes to the big stuff - sure sometimes dean tries to bluff himself out of telling cas he ate healthy that day - but when it’s bigger than either of them - that time dean went to the doctor for a persistent cough and then was referred to a specialist and his world kind of stopped because he thought about the cruel irony of losing his paradise after years of literal hell but it ended up being nothing and cas was the one that taught him how to breathe through the whole thing - never leaving his side or his mind for a goddamned moment - somehow their lives were just for each other and it was the most terrifying thing dean has ever done - loving cas will break him - he knows he’s waiting for the day when cas will do something say something be something that will be the point where dean knows there won’t be a point without cas anymore - he always feels like he’s just one cup of coffee handed to him or knees knocking during a discovery channel documentary or waiting in line together at the grocery before his heart collapses in on itself unable to live without cas’s love filling up his chest - he finds himself whispering i love you in awe more often than not still disbelieving his life - cas has woken up more times than he can count to dean’s big scared gulps as he struggles for breath against his concaved lungs - pulls him close when he can and tries to ground dean with something intimate comfortable safe - holds onto him buried in their blankets and pillows as they both half watch the sunrise half watch each other - they still have that bad habit of staring at each other like they’re going to disappear no matter how many times they reassure swear prove they’re not going anywhere no matter what - making plans for their future helps and so does a solid routine - their thursday night family dinners with jody donna and the girls - sometimes claire and kaia are gone on a hunt but they’re usually back by the next week or the week after - or their regular spot at the table near the door at the bar in town that always screens football games so they go there sunday nights so dean doesn’t have to cook and cas doesn’t have to dishes - it took them two months to plan a trip to the beach mainly because they couldn’t agree on which coast to go to until they finally invited sam and eileen who picked mexico of all places - charlie had to cook them up some passports so of course she and her girlfriend ended up getting invited - it turned into this big family vacation - dean wandered into the kitchen of the rental house late one night and sam was already staring out the double doors leading down to the sand beach ocean - he finally got to put some words to all the thoughts he had running around his head - thanking sam for everything but also explaining best he could some of the guilt failure anxiety anguish he knows he felt for so many years - sam voices some of his own fears but sounds confident in what the future holds for him and eileen - on the drive back to north dakota dean spills spills spills his heart out to cas stopping on the side of the road somewhere between b.f.e. and timbuktu so he can turn in his seat fully and grab both of cas’s hands with his own - he knows this is the rest of his life that house in sioux falls with that old bed frame from an estate sale kitchen with not enough counter space yard that never gets mown oversized tv on a shelf that dean cleans too often - dean had an exciting life before this but nothing thrills him like seeing cas walk in the front door with a bucket full of vegetables from the farm a few miles down the road or taking long rides in the impala that lead nowhere but to some heavy kissing on deserted back roads or cas slipping his hand under his shirt to feel his heartbeat - nothing is ever going to come close to that feeling of contentment - this is it - cas takes his face between his hands so he can hold his gaze - it hasn’t for a second crossed cas’s mind that this wasn’t it that he wasn’t ever going to love dean in any other way but with his whole being - he may not be an angel anymore but he believed in this more than anything else in his millions of years of existence - of course dean was it for him of course - how more plain could they make it - so when they got back to their house cas pulled the vial of grace out from the box in the attic and gave it to dean to do with what he pleased - destroy it put it back in the box give it to sam to dispose of - do whatever with it because cas never wanted to see it again it didn’t feel like it was ever really his to begin with - dean didn’t tell him what he did with it but cas knows - knows that that little apple tree of the edge of their property that sprung up and has grown too fast for a normal tree but it would only be noticeable if he were looking too close - he knows the grace is there giving life back to nature - finally that energy being used for growth transformation nurishment - cas knows dean did the right thing


End file.
